The Rower Turns Photographer

      The Rower has been enjoying the camera feature of my cell phone, capturing snippets of life around here.

Puzzles during read-alouds

"Lord, you will establish peace for us, for You have also done all our works in us. "

Isaiah 26:12

Peace carries her catnip pillow around the house

We think she's hooked.

The Student left his hat here when he went back to college.

Sadie does not appreciate it.

Having fun, and

Trusting in Him,

Aimee



Singing His Praises

          During each of our adoption processes, there’s come a time when we’ve begun to pray earnestly about a small person with whom we've fallen in love.  Each of those times, a certain promise from scripture came to my attention again and again: on the radio, in the Bible, in sermons, and on huge banners at church that seemed to be displayed each time we’d reached that stage of the process.

          “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

                                                Jeremiah 29:11

Today, the Musician sat under one of those banners as he sang and played his guitar during the offering: “All the Earth Will Sing Your Praises.”

As I watched this beautiful boy, I reflected back on the months of prayer for him as we waited for approval to bring him home; on that promise from Jeremiah; and on the countless blessings this son has brought to our family. So proud and so grateful to God, we sing His praises too.

Giving Thanks, and
Trusting in Him,
Aimee

The Fruit of the Spirit - Patience

          I’ve been thinking about patience a lot this week. Homeschooling a child with processing issues, listening to multiple narrations and trying to tune in to the emotional needs of a variety of ages and stages will do that to a person.

Of all virtues, I’m surprised to be most often commended for my patience, a quality of which I actually possess very little. By nature, I can be impatient, brooding, and have a tendency to want to fix the outcome of any situation.  If any glimmer of patience is visible, it’s a patience from God that I could never manufacture on my own, despite years of effort.

          In my early parenting years, I was thunderstruck by my lack of patience; I’d never had much of it to begin with, and here I was responsible for a few completely unpredictable creatures who depended upon me entirely - for everything.  One sweet child was sensory defensive, like me – bothered by tags and seams and noise and chaos – and another was sensory-seeking; a dynamic, creative, singing, dancing, whirling, twirling bundle of energy and emotion that reached extremes. The mixture of these two was like oil and water, but louder.

          I loved parenting and found it much more rewarding than my career in public relations, and yet, it required so much more of me. Among other things, like energy, endurance and the ability to do a lot of laundry, it required patience – that thing I didn’t have much of yet.

          Somewhere along the line, I found a scripture I clung to, wrote out and posted on my cabinets, memorized, and even found printed on a mug that I bought and used daily.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

Galatians 5:22-23

          The way I saw it, this was a promise – a promise that if I walked with the Spirit of God and ask for His help, these things could be active in my life. I knew I needed them. Mornings started with teacup pressed to my forehead as I recited this verse and asked for patience, and I murmured it many times throughout the day, asking not for my patience, but for His.

          I realized later that a funny thing happens when you ask God for something like patience – things take place that are sometimes not funny at all, but that do God’s work more fully than anything we could orchestrate.

The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.

Ecclesiastes 7:8

       There was sickness and recovery; the addition of a delightful baby who grew into a toddler operating in search-and-destroy-mode, and there were autoimmune and food issues. There were three new children who joined our family, each with special needs (I’ve since determined that all children have special needs), and a few long, loud, adjustment processes. There were adolescent crises that kept us on our knees, homeschooling with a range of learning styles and needs, and through it all, God added His patience where mine waned. In the midst of it all, He also added incredible blessings, bountiful joys and gifts too numerous to list.

          Daily, hourly, I  still reach for that gift of patience, this week as I ponder how to best help a small person absorb and retain information. Looking into an earnest little face as he works to repeat information that’s been read, explained and repeated several times over, I remember the early days of parenting him, and know my patience is as vital as any curriculum. In those early days, any sign of displeasure or frustration in voice or facial expression caused a panicked anxiety, and he would shut down completely. It’s better now that he’s secure in his place with us, but my mood still sets the tone in a way that’s a bit alarming in its responsibility. So along with phone calls and searches for curriculum, I add to my list: keep praying for patience.

         And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully  giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. ^“

Colossians :11-13

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 

Colossians 3:12

Trusting in Him,

Aimee

Major Construction

            I don’t know what was more remarkable tonight;

   The 52-story tower the boys built;

       

        The fact that their father brought a ladder into the living room when it got too tall for them to reach the top;

  

Or the fact that I slept through the whole stinkin’ thing, just feet away in my favorite chair, where I’d crashed after dinner.

Note the slipper on the left...that's me. How did I sleep through this?

Luckily, they woke me to see the finished product.

Citiblocs are wonderful; the Musician says, “Every kid should have Citiblocs.”

Feeling much more rested, and

Trusting in Him;

Aimee

Into the New Year

          I haven’t thought of a word for the New Year. Folks do that, you know; they choose a word, perhaps one God has whispered in their ear, to signify what they’re going to focus on in the coming year. Reflecting and pondering and praying, though, I realize instead what I’ve learned in the year past. I started 2011 with the hope of being more present - the word I felt I was hearing – to the big and little people around me, in a “be where you are” sort of way, and to recognize the blessings in my life.

Still worthy goals, these, but looking back, there are other words I recognize as a current through my days.

          A few years ago, a wise friend told me of a little axiom that had worked wonders in her marriage, and those words came to me repeatedly throughout the year, with regard to many situations and relationships. The axiom:

“Pray it, don’t say it.”

Anyone who’s been married any length of time, parented a child into the teen years, or well, been human, knows how words – even well-intentioned - can incite quarrels, derail progress and harm relationships.

Some words are necessary – some problems, mine to fix. Other problems are not mine to solve, and misplaced words can make things worse. Praying for wisdom, I’m trying to use words more wisely. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail, and it’s usually quite obvious to me when I haven’t listened to that still small voice advising me to hush for a bit; it never goes well.

     “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”

Isaiah 30:21

          Looking back over the year, I can see what great work God does when my mouth and I get out of the way. There are areas where for years, I’ve tried to engineer change myself, but God is able do it so much more effectively when I step aside and speak my words to him instead.

          In 2012, I’d still like to be more present. I’d still like to listen more, and speak less – pray it instead of say it. I don’t have a word for this year, but I’m waiting, listening, and eager to see where God wants to take us next. I’m so aware of being a work in progress, a sinner saved by grace, living with people who deserve grace and mercy just as much as I do - and it’s only with His help that I have any to give.

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 3:12-14

So I step into the new year, praying for openness to His plans, and for release of my own.

Happy New Year, from our family, to yours.

Trusting in Him,

Aimee

Of joys and tears

We had lovely Christmas moments of welcoming our Savior and making memories with family, and I held them all a little closer in my heart this year. These days go by so quickly; we’ve seen it with our bigger kids and we see it now with the littles. We’ve learned how soon children become young adults who have to make their own choices in the world, and how short a time we are allowed the privilege of their care. There’s a feeling of safety when they’re small and we know we have control; most parents learn, as their kids reach young adult-hood, that these young people have to make their own choices - just as we did and just as humans have done since the beginning of time.

This year the moments of sweetness were especially poignant, as we’d learned on Christmas Eve morning of the death of a wonderful, kind 18-year-old who was part of our homeschooling community. The circumstances surrounding his death were heartbreaking, and any parent who’s spent much time with teens, or had a child struggle with depression or bad decision making, had the painful realization that it could have been their child, their family.

Last gifts were wrapped through tears as we tried to process the news, children were hugged a little closer, and as we celebrated the birth of our Savior, hearts cried out for this boy’s family and for the brokenness of our world, and hung on to the hope of a day when there will be no more tears.

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.

Revelation 21:4

Stopped in my tracks, aching for the grieving family, I ask myself again: can I live until that day with gratitude, never forgetting to be awed by the gifts I’ve been given?

The loss of this precious boy reminds me, even as I hold his family in prayer, to cherish the sweetness of moments that will not pass this way again, holding them in my heart.

Dear Lord;

For these days, I give thanks.

For Christmas carols sung with generations;

For our young adults, and we ask that you guard and keep them while they are away from us;

For brothers who love deeply with a bond not forged by DNA;

Brothers roasting by an open fire

For time spent with grandparents;

For the fact that You loved us enough to come down and join us in our joys and in our tears.

We ask you to comfort our friends in their unfathomable grief, and give them a peace that can only come from You.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen

Kiss your children, and enjoy the gift of this day with them. And might I ask, would you please keep our grieving friends in your prayers?

Trusting in Him,

Aimee

Christmas Peace

     We’re hunkered down here, happily making preparations for Christmas and savoring these busy yet peaceful days. I love the candles burning in the darkened afternoons, our Christmas CDs playing when kids aren’t making music for us on a guitar or piano, the smells of Christmas baking. I love the excitement of kids who want their turn at a shopping date, where they’ll choose a gift for the sibling whose name they picked in our post Thanksgiving name-drawing. I cherish the trip with each of those kids, where we share a treat of their choice, and I see their sweet excitement at finding just the right secret present.

          It’s a balance, doing all that must be done, while keeping peace and joy and managing to enjoy any of it. Perhaps this is the reason I light my candles early in the evening, need the soft music like I need water, and hold fast to tradition. Some years we keep traditions just because we love them, and other years we’ve clung to them, when our worlds were rocked and we needed something safe to return to.

Sometimes, the glittering, shopping mall holidays - full of expectations and pitfalls - can be brutally painful. Many I care about are experiencing this right now: a first Christmas without a loved one; a failing marriage; strained family relationships, children with behavioral special needs, disease. I know families ripped apart by addiction, and others struggling to parent adolescents born with brain damage from their birthmothers’ alcohol use. My heart aches for those families, and they are in my prayers.

We’ve lived through storms of our own these past years, and I’m thankful for what I’ve learned:

Peace

          Peace is not in circumstance - it cannot be, because those can’t be controlled and we’ve been promised peace as a possibility, regardless of what we walk through. At this time of year, especially, we remember this.

          “For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given. And the government will be upon His shoulder, and His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6

           Our God is a God of peace who offers that gift through His spirit – not necessarily in our circumstances, but in our hearts. I need that, and I think we all do.

          “You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. Trust in the Lord forever.” Isaiah 26:3-4a

          We can’t control what others choose to do, but we can control what we surround ourselves with and the boundaries we set. I choose to try to create peace. Daily, hourly (every minute?), I need God’s help with this.

We’ve established traditions like anchors both comforting and necessary: our advent spiral and nightly Jesse Tree devotional readings, the candles Husband makes each year,

...tree decorating followed by a viewing of A Charlie Brown Christmas and snack of eggnog and cookies.

The children don’t let us vary this routine – it is how it must be done, and I think of the peace and security it must give them, and it makes me feel peaceful too.

This year we’ve added things I suspect will become tradition. We made huge snowflakes to gift and to create a blizzard in our own home.

Students had a “science lesson” as they helped their dad make deliciously scented candles,



and boys have made beautiful music for us as we’ve gathered together to sing Christmas carols. The simple beauty of these moments takes my breath away.

Boundaries and Simplicity

          We’ve learned we need to set aside both time and space to nurture relationships and keep peace. Sometimes this means saying no to things we’d held as obligations, and choosing which things our family can participate in. It means paring down, simplifying, and cherishing time together instead of being swept up in the mad rush that roars by like a tide this time of year.

Thanksgiving

          “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

          A tough order on some days and for those in the midst of trials, but on the hardest days, it’s still the key. Even in days of darkness, there are beautiful glimmers of light, moments and small gifts to be thankful for. Literally counting blessings, we find much to cherish, and see in small things much to be grateful for: a cup of tea, birds at the feeder in drizzling rain, a family of deer in the back woods; boys playing a board game, a sibling helping another, Husband making a special dinner, sans allergens, just for me. My cup runneth over.

 Comfort

         We need people who are there for us – the kind who will listen and not judge, the rare kind who will stop right then and there and pray with and for us. I will always remember leaving the grocery store in a daze years ago, just days before Christmas, when a phone call had left our worlds reeling. I ran into a new friend and after my story had poured out, she surprised me by taking my hands and praying for our family, right there in the back of the grocery store by the gum ball machines. The comfort of her bold and unexpected prayer was an indescribable gift; she loaned me her peace when I had none, and brought me to the throne with her, when I could scarcely crawl there myself. I count as blessings those friends and family members who have walked through hard things with us; we need friends like that, and we need to be that kind of friend for others.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”      2 Corinthians 1:3-4

    

     (Even Sadie, the 55 lb goldendoodle, needs comfort sometimes. In the middle of the music making and baking and cleaning, we realize she doesn’t appreciate the electric guitar.)

I am thankful, so, so thankful, that what we celebrate at Christmas is deeper than the thrills promised in television commercials from the purchase of the perfect present, and goes far beyond the perfect set-ups in magazines. We’re promised a peace and joy that can only come from knowing a Savior who cared enough to come live among us, in the lovely moments, and in our messes. With the broken and the hurting: He is there. In the quiet moments and the stillness: He is there. As you spend a few more days busy with last minute buying, wrapping, baking and preparing, I wish for you His peace, as you get ready to celebrate the birth of our King.

Trusting in Him,
Aimee